The Inherent Patriarchy of Hindu festivals
Hindu festivals have some inspiring stories behind their origin but have also been an institution to uphold
the roots of patriarchy. Every good holds some bad in it, so before cherishing and normalising customs blindly, think slightly. Almost every festival oppresses women in one form or
another. Why? Perhaps either because of our misinterpretation or our inability to resist or at least understand the patriarchal sense inherent in the festivals. Therefore, though they have some beautiful origins and incredible history, with time these festivals have been manipulated by the patriarchal institutions to eventually oppress women. Still, I do not support boycotting festivals absolutely, rather I believe in changing the way we celebrate them and the way we introduce them to our upcoming generations.
Holi-the
festival of colours which is considered to be the day to celebrate the victory of good over evil has actually become a day of rejoicing
for paedophiles and sexual predators as it legitimizes sexual abuse for a day.
The lines of consent are arbitrarily blurred on this day with the maxim “Bura Na Mano Holi
hai”.
Navratri-the
festival in which goddesses are worshipped seems to be an auspicious festival
uplifting the status of women. However, it is a misleading assumption to
justify another patriarchal standard for women. By allowing only
non-menstruating girls for Kanya poojan in this festival, it actually sends a
message to society that menstruating girls aren’t pure.
Festivals like Raksha
Bandhan and Bhai Dooj,
which could have been celebrated for the lovely bond of sister-brother
relationship, on the contrary, with the implicit promise of brother to protect
her sister at all times (in Raksha Bandhan) it is reflected that women are weaker
than men; and by praying for the long life and the prosperity of their brothers (on Bhai Dooj) it is reflected that how more important
the male lives are. These festivals place
brothers over sisters and thus legitimizing the superiority
of men over women.
Unsurprisingly, you
won’t find festivals on which males pray for the long life of their sisters,
mother or wife. But on one festival or the other,
you will be able to notice easily how women aspire and pray for the long life of their male counterparts. Well-known examples are Ahoi Ashtami
festival (one day fast by mothers for the well-being and long life of
their sons) and Karwa Chauth (one-day
Anhydrous fasting by wives for their husbands’ long life and happiness). In
fact, Karwa Chauth actually legitimizes
the saying “Pati Parmeshwar hai” (husband
is the god), as on this day wives break their fast by worshipping their
husbands.
Diwali-the
so-called festival of lights, in reality,
is the darkest festival for women as it legitimizes the oppressive expectation
of an ideal woman. Who can forget the
ordeal faced by the goddess Sita after she was rescued from the Ravana’s Lanka? She had to give Agni Pariksha (the fire
test) to prove her purity and still, she
faced exile and was forced to take refuge
in the ashram of Balmiki, raising two kids alone as a single mom.
The
story doesn’t end here, but it is noticeable that on these festivals the duty
to cook festive foods and sweets, decoration, shopping for performing
traditions and rituals becomes the sole duty of women of the house. The real
fun of these festivals is enjoyed by the male members and women merely becomes
the sole workers, hardly enjoying any festival. Festivals actually prove to
be tiresome for women rather than rejuvenating.
So, don't only criticise what is happening outside, because change actually begins inside. We need to change the customs, norms & prevalent practices and for that, we need to change our perspectives when it comes to our religion and festivals. Be it any religion, it is the duty of followers to bring reforms in it.
I don't agree with you! Do you even know the exact reasons for celebrating these festivals! Those who do anything in the "name of bura na mano holi hai" don't do so in the name of patriarchy! They are downright bastards! Karwa Chauth & Vatsavitri are celebrated because Karwa and Savitri were such women who rescued their husband's life, thus proving that women are not weak but equal to men in every aspect! They prolonged the long lives of their husband, so the festival focuses on it! And do you know where does "Pati Parameshwar hai" come from! Parvati addressed her husband Shiva as Parmeshwar because he is one who knows all the three divisions of time, present, past & future & he is beyond the three gunas of satva, rajas and tamas! She said so not only because she was his wife, but because it was Shiva who became her guru and guided her to reattain her form of Aadishakti after being born as a human being! So, out of devotion & love she uttered that he was his God! That does not mean she was any less!!! But, you see that was the ideal love story, nowadays people's mind are not stable, and they create more of negativity than positivity, so it's wise to say either "Pati parameshwar hai" because nobody is like Shiva himself! Navratri- you said allows only girls to be worshipped who have not yet attained puberty! Kanya Pujan, actually I don't know much about this! But, I believe the first time it was done, to worship girls who were still in their teens, that's why it's also known as Kumari Puja,unmarried girls can attend these pujas,and I even know a girl, who is my friend who has attended one of these pujas, at the age of 18 I guess, I don't know to which Hindu culture you belong to, but allowing only girls who have not been hit by puberty, shows oppression in that particular culture! Kumari was an avatar of Parvati, who was born after Parvati's death! She defeated Banasur when she was in her teens! She also worshipped Mahadev, so deities can be worshipped by Kumari girls, because deities never stop someone from expressing devotion towards them! In my home, I have seen both my mom & dad visiting market together to get the items necessary of performing rituals during festivals, and I always decorate the house with the help of my mom & dad, which shows our mutual respect for each other and love among ourselves! In my home, my mother is never forced to make several kinds delicacies to feed us, if she wishes she can make it, there is no compulsion from our side ever! U must be thinking why so, that's because, me & my father don't know how to cook! But, I wish to learn cooking and feed my mother someday, but my work schedule doesn't allow me now, also I don't even get to see them in months, but I'll surely learn cooking soon because I have seen my mom making delicious food for whole family since childhood, I used to sit and talk to her while she prepared food! It always used to excite me(the thought of cooking food)! I have told you so much, because the world is changing, it's not so negative as you have portryayed, also, men & women are equal according to our own religious books! Ardhanarishwar is a symbol of the highest form of equality possible among men & women! Durga, Kali have always destroyed demons, which clearly shows her scope is not limited to household work only! Besides, Parvati transformed into Durga to protect the world and prove to the world out there that "Nari abala nahi sabala hai" !!! I have not watched Ramayana after Seeta & Ram return from Lanka, so can't comment anything on that in particular!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your precious time to read it and comment.
DeleteSir, I respect your opposing contention of this pin-pointed negativity.
First, I accept that these festivals were initiated with some pious thoughts and good intentions but for that, we cannot overlook the status they are getting today and as you highlighted the positive origins of these festivals, it's sad that you cannot recognize how the patriarchal institutions have moulded them over time. I never disagree with the fact that the festivals have some beautiful origins but I criticized them for their transformation which is departing from their origins.
Holi was started to celebrate the thought of "burai par acchai ki vijay" but the molesters have used it in the other way. So whatever the good origin was behind it, it's overlooked because of the negativity it scatters today. We do like to cherish our traditions but how can we indifferent to what harm they are causing to women today.
Though Karwa Chauth & Vatsavitri originated to symbolize women power it has now lost its piousness. Sometimes, they are even forced to observe fast by their families, even if they don't wish to. You may again contend that it's their choice but is it theirs completely? Aren't they losing their freedom regarding that? Whatever the source of "Pati Parmeshwar hai" was- it has been used deliberately against women to oblige her husband no matter what he does. It sets standards for wife but obliges her to obey his husband even if he is a goon, womanizer, cheating on her, abusing her, etc, etc. Goddess Parwati used the phrase for her husband Shiva whom we worship as God today. Right? So, how can we compare God with a human being? Why the phrase has been generalized for all husbands in India which was used for God Shiva? Does every husband knows all the three divisions of time, present, past & future or is beyond the three gunas of satva, rajas and tamas? Obviously not!
After that, you perhaps mistook me about Kanya Poojan. Obviously any lady can attend Navratri Pooja but not Kanchak. Kanya poojan here refers to “Kanchak”- the food that we offer to girls aged between 0-13. Haven’t you heard the saying that a girl doesn’t go to Kanchak after a particular age because she is not a child anymore?
In the end, you highlighted some courageous examples of Godesses Kali, Durga, and Parvati. That indeed signifies women power and I never denied that but let’s not be restricted to that. We are living in a world where women are still oppressed because of their gender. Rapes, molestation, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, disrespect against women still prevail in this society. It’s appreciating that your family is sensible enough to give the status to a lady that she deserves, that you don’t force your mother for anything but is that the scenario with every family? Can we think that everything is perfect outside just because we have got everything perfect inside four walls of our home?
Hope my views haven't hurt you but I just highlighted what's happening in today's society irrespective of their pious origins.
I expected you to reply something like this! Well, I already agreed with each & every point of yours! I didn't utter that women outside the four walls of my home don't have to face issues! I just highlighted my own family conditions, to show you that our society is changing day by day! We can't interfere in somebody's family matters, women need to take a stand for themselves, they need not get afraid of their own family members to live their own life freely! Besides, women should be ready to break the person's bones, who tries to physically molest her or even eve-tease her! Men should learn how to respect women, parents should discuss such things open-mindedly with their kids! Ah, the point about Kanchak, I haven't heard such a thing about girls after 13! I don't know anything about it! Maybe, only kids(girls) are permitted! But, in Kumari Pujan, every girl can be worshipped who is still a bachelorette! I understand all other points, which you thoroughly mentioned! Things take time to change as I had even admitted in my previous comment, but it will be possible only when women take a stand for themselves and act according to their own requirements & not because somebody else is forcing her to do so! The world will be able to flourish only when both men & women go hand in hand to build a better place! Thanks for listening mam!
DeleteYes, Indeed the mindset needs to be changed.
ReplyDeleteThank you for having a constructive dialogue.